I want to be fit. I have always wanted to be but I have just never had the motivation. Actually I think the motivation is there to start with, but I have never found a plan that I can stick with. When I was a kid I was BIG!!! Around the age of about 9 I would say is when it started. I gained a lot of weight, and I just didn't care at first, until it was too late. And even when I did care I never did anything about it. All through high school I was big. I wore a UK size 16/18 which would be a 12/14 over here. Not huge but definitely considered one of the fat kids in school. When I was 16 I joined weight watchers and although it was tough I ended up losing about 28lbs. I did feel better, but I was still around 180lbs and I got stuck at that weight for a couple of years.
However, everything changed when I was 19. Someone told me that I looked like I was losing weight. This made me so happy and finally gave me the incentive to take control and do something about my weight. But I didn't know how to do it sensibly, and that summer, the summer of 2002, I got into a habit of eating only once a day. I would allow myself one meal, but that meal could consist of anything. Due to my schedule of work and hobbies, that usually consisted of fast food or a sandwich, but it worked and I lost weight. For the first time in my life I felt happier with my appearance.
During 2003 and 2004 my body went through some extremes. I spent 3 months on the road in the summer of 03 and got really fit. Then I moved to Boston MA for 6 months through the winter, and the bordom coupled with the lure of American food contributed to me gaining some serious weight. Then in the summer of 04 I lost it all again on tour.
After I got home in 04 I tried really hard to eat healthy and maintain my tour body. I figured it's easier to maintain than it is to lose it again. And I did pretty well, until I fell off the wagon a bit when I started dating someone new. It was a brief romance and he ended up going back to his ex who was incredibly thin. This sparked my obsession with my weight, and the summer of 2005 resulted in me becoming addicted to illegal diet pills and surviving on a bowl of cereal, an apple and a bowl of soup a day. I coupled this with an hour a day of exercise and soon had my friends worried that I was developing an eating disorder. They were right to be worried.
At the end of 2005 I met my husband. We married just 6 months later and I began to gain some weight again. I was happy and felt comfortable eating again. But due to my husband's obsession with me remaining skinny my weight yo-yo'ed again and during our three year marriage I went went up and down from a size 12 to a 4 and everything in between. After my divorce, this continued up until today where I am now a size 8. Definitely a very healthy size, but my eating habits are still erratic and I don't exercise.
So my aim is to be in shape by Christmas. I want to march winterguard this year, and as I am pushing 30, this is no small task to undertake. It's going to be tough and in my current physical shape I know I could do it, but I would feel terrible after practice. For this reason, and because I am tired of just feeling "meh" about my body, I am vowing to get in shape. I plan to purchase the P90X DVDs and actually stick to the plan. I know there are going to be days when I hate it! But I am detirmind to get through it!!!
So watch this space. I will post before pictures when I start and plan to keep a running blog on my progress, complete with photo's. Wish me luck. It's going to be a long few months.
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